The Zumba of Oz.

walking, and Zumba and Push-ups ..OH MY!....
            walking, and Zumba and Push-ups ..OH MY!
Now .. Louder in faster... just like in Wizard of Oz.

WALKING AND ZUMBA, AND PUSH-UPS OH MY!!

That's a little bit of what my life has been like the past 3 1/2 weeks. I made a resolution to get healthier, only not only did I make that resolution. I made a promise....
A promise to be healthier for myself, and for my girls. A promise to honor the body God has given me, since I only have one and I don't get a replacement... (though I have been told you can replace parts of it.... for a price!)

I can't tell you how much better I feel! I am down 7.4 lbs as of my last weigh in!
I KNOW RIGHT??? AWESOME!!!!

It took me 2 months to lose that much before... So I am pretty psyched.

But can I be honest with you? Today, although I am healthier than I have been in years.... I feel like freaking crap. I'm not only Dorothy in Oz, I'm INSECURE Dorothy in Oz...... I feel lost, and I don't trust anyone, and worst of all..... the voices of people past that have put me down, told me I wasn't enough, or told me I wasn't good enough.... have recycled through my head all day long, like the cackling voice of the wicked witch of the East.

I know in these times, when I am weakest is when God uses others to speak to me, or tell me what I need to hear.... and he did that today....But I realized that there is this wall up that will not allow those things to permeate into my sub conscious. Which makes me feel weaker... scripture says when we are weak, that is when we are strong... but I don't think I have figured that one out yet. Does anyone have that figured out?

Also, for the first time today someone told me to be myself... be free to be myself.
You may think that everyone hears this, and It's almost like the world says this... "Be yourself" in reality the world and most people in it only want you to "Be yourself if it fits into their mold of who they want you to be." Sadly, this goes for Christians and non-Christians.... so what does that make...

Me. A very confused Dorothy, who has what it takes in her to get 'home' but because of all the opposing views from my own heartless tin man, cowardly lion, and brainless scarecrow throughout the years.... I am not even sure who I am.

I may have found the beginning of my yellow brick road today, in an unlikely source.... and I will try to believe that source, and take this .... all of this... weight and insecurities and all, and follow my yellow brick road to my emerald city.... even if I have to Zumba ALL the way.